Short Attention, Running Sounds, Increased Frustration, Generalized Anxiety

>> Monday, December 5, 2011

Finals start this week for college, and I am getting very nervous. As for some of you, you know that I have generalized anxiety disorder. This is were you have anxiety most of the time, but you have do periods of calm which do not always last for a long period of time. Okay, the official definition is an uneasy sense of general tension and apprehension for no apparent reason that makes the individual highly uncomfortable because of it prolonged presence. There are many things that start the whole cycle for me all over again. A test for example, because I am so nervous about it I will forget everything that I have studied and go blank. Frustration sets in, and I am almost into a mental breakdown. There are a lot of things that I have problems with, and sorting them out has become a task in itself. My attention span really bothers me. Things do not soak in like they should. Learning things takes me more time than one would normally do. Hearing has become very annoying lately. When there is more than one noise in the room, I have difficulties hearing any one particular sound. They all blend in together, so I hear everything at once. If I am working on something and there is the slightest noise, I get very disrupted and loose all train of thought. As a child, I remember sitting in front of the television and be tuned in to the sound and not be able to hear someone calling my name. Same kind of problem today. I will be watching television and someone will say something to me. Either I will not hear them at all, or it will only be a murmur. It is hard to stay focused on what is said in a lecture, because my mind tends to wander. Not that I am trying to make it, but that it does it all on its own. There are a lot of misfires that I find within myself, and wish that I had answers for them. I have wondered what effects seizures at birth could have on the nervous system. I only had them at birth and not since then, but there is a suspicion that it could have caused some of the issues that I do have.

Well, thought that I would ramble a little today. Just kind of feeling frustrated.

Dad, saw that you probably had some snow recently. What two days ago? How much did you get? How's Aunt K? I have not heard from her. Love you dad, Amanda

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